HALOOOOOO !!!! I'm bacck from sunny Brissy into muggy Singapore !!! Yes yes i know guys, gotta meet up with you guys sometime soon. Hee hee so sorry ah about not being a very good person in updating about my life. The remaining weeks in Brissy were filled with visiting different places up in the mountains for the perfect wedding venue, having farewell dinners, researching whether it would be more practical to apply immediately for a finace visa rather than a student visa, reading up on all the marriage paperwork, signing papers and get it certified by a Justice of peace and etc.... It seems like the announcement of my engagement seemed to have increased the number of visitors to my blog. Guess its no more a secret blog with my gang anymore but more of like any other blog that everyone knows about.
Anyways, the squat toilet is one of the few things that i'm grateful to come back for. LOlz...kk i know this is going to sound weird but i think having grown up with a squat toilet all my life, using the sitting one over a period too long kindda induces constipation. WELL, constipation is the most horrible thing that could happen to any healthy individual. I would rather go running to the toilet constantly than to go green with exhaustion trying to back something out. kk....on a lighter note, i'm back here again for another 5 months with the main purposes of catching up with you guys, applying for fiance visa which requires you to be assessed outside of Australia and to earn tons of money working.
Gang.....you guys have to meet Josh this time when he comes down in late Jan. He would be staying for about 3 weeks this time. We would be having a couple of engagement parties, one for frens and the other relatives. We are not reali sure whether if we would want to combine the one for the church with the one with frens but would tell you guys asap when it gets settled. And so guess that would be the best time for you guys to meet and get to know him better than just knowing him as the Australian guy named Josh.
Guess that would be quite a few surprised or even shocked reaction towards our engagement due to our age, financial situation and time taken to get to engagement.
Common Responses or reaction we 've received from pple (mainly from my side, usuali more from outside the church) is:
1. You are too young!
2. You are not mature enough!
3. You will get distracted while studying in marriage!
4. Where you get money to support yourself nonetheless someone else?
5. You have not seen enough of the world and there's still an ocean out there. He's just a small fish that you meet along the river leading to the sea!
6. You have only known each other for barely a year and now you getting married?! Don't you think its a bit too fast?
These are a few concerned enquires that we haved received since the news of our engagment is spread like wild fire. Anyways, we have discussed about such expected responses even before our engagment and we are thankful towards the Lord for His guidance and wisdom in this matter.
After much prayer, reflection, individually and together, and discussion, we are assured and convicted that this indeed is God's timing and there are many times we evidently see His hand working in our time spent together.
We would now go through the reponses one at a time.
1. You are too young!
What is young? Did the Bible say it is wrong to marry before a certain age? Din't the word of God mention about "rejocing in the wife of thy youth" in Pro5:18.
"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."Does age represent maturity?
2. You are not mature enough!
Again, what defines maturity? Will we ever be mature enough to know everything about marriage before we get married? Does age defines maturity? A 30 year old might still have the immaturity of a 20 year old if he/she is continually being sheltered by his/her parents, culture and society. It is the society and cultural beliefs that shape our perceptions and bais for and against marrying young.
3. You will get distracted while studying after marriage!
Won't one get even more distracted during dating while studying? Distraction is ineviatble be it in marriage or courtship. In marriage, the couple get to spend most of their time together besides during working or schooling hours. Being married as uni students would make studying a even greater incentive since we have both share the beautiful purpose to both work hard for our future together. Isn't it much better to be together if we both know that we each are able to enhance the spiriual growth of another together than to be poorer spiritually apart?
4.Where you get the money to support yourself nonetheless someone else?
In Singapore, we don't usually start working till after 16 due to our concern parents. We are given allowances from our parents and for most of us, try to curry favour to get them to buy us something that we like. The government don't give us youth allowances, make CFP deductions off our salary, labour costs are low here, and standards of living is high here. On the other hand, the aust. gov pays the youth an allowance in which the amount received depends on their income, family finacial situation, age from 16 all the way till they finish their bachelor. Though taxes are high over there, labour costs are pretty high too resulting in a cleaner's pay to be one of the higher paying jobs in comparision to one over here. Since labour cost is quite high, eating out is pretty costly too. An average meal would lighten your wallet of approx. 20 aust bucks per person. Thus, cooking at home is always the cheaper alternative which can cost as cheap as 20 bucks a week if you chose home brand products for all your groceries. So one actually save more being married than to eat out all the time just to get some privacy away from the family. Besides getting youth allowances, uni courses depending on the type of major allows an average student to waork about at least 10-15 hours a week. And if one is earning about an average of 13 bucks an hour, that makes about slightly over 100 bucks in an 8 hour work day. In short, if both of us work about 10plus hours each on top of youth allowances, it is possible to get along with life no worries.
5. You have not seen the world enough and there's still an ocean out there. He's just a small fish that you meet along the river leading to the sea!
Personally, i believe that God has a special person prepared for most of us to spend our entire life with. And this special person is going to be your bestest fren in the whole wide world. You both would share a special connection and be able to relate and understand each other at a similar level. You would be able to talk to this person about everything and anything and not worry how he or she would view you. 'Cos marriage is indeed more than just learning how to love each other but also to keep establishing that already well grounded frenship and a constant process of getting to know each other. So if we believe there's only one person that God had prepared for us, why worried about someone better coming along? If this person can make me want to spend my entire life with, he is not just a small fish but a whale.
6. You have only known each other for barely a year and now you are getting married?! Don't you think its a bit too fast?
Actually, God has always been very providencial in blessing us with lots of time spent together and also a gift for communication. Since the beginning of our frenship ( when Josh is over here to visit and when we first met), we usually meet up for group meetings and always without fail end up talking to each other. When we entered into a proper relationship, we can spent up to an average of 5 hours talking over the internet phone (Thank God that its free!) about 3-5 times a week. Then again, God gave us the last 3 months which we spent almost all of our waking hours together. No doubt we had plenty to talk about and getting to know each other. Seeing each other daily helped us to know each other in many different aspects of our life in which we would never be able to know over the phone. In fact, days actually turn into weeks and weeks years. That's alot of time we've spent together and through it by God's guidance and wisdom, we have come to see hwo much we really would desire to spend the rest of our life together, learning to love and grow together.
In summary,
Hmm... i have to admit that before (years ago or maybe even a year ago) i used to think that 25 is the most appropriate marriageable age. However, i formed that conviction based on our culture, society, the time after uni graduation, the beliefs that marriage in uni would never work out well, the rate in which our guys mature etc. Then, i met Josh.
Having spend 3 months over in Aust going to Josh to uni once in a while and getting to know the entire education and welfare system, i realised that there are quite a few young married or even engaged couples who still have a number of uni years to complete. At the same time, they having to start working since a young age of 12, start driving at 16 , mature at a younger and faster rate in their society. A common belief in our society is that we must have a sum of money before we can get married. No doubt this is true in Singapore since the cost of living is extremely high in comparison to that in Aust. Something i've learnt over the last 3 months is that what might be true in a society might not applies in another. Thus, it is always important to make a careful analyze about the different situation before coming to a judgement or opinion about it.
Guess this would be long enuf to last for a while. Gotta get myself equipped with job searching skills, to meet up with pple, complete the fiancee visa and preparing for the wedding. So take care all of you and update you guys soon!!!
p.s thanks for rejoicing with us in this very special event!!! =)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment