settling in well

This week is already is the 4th week since i barged awakardly into the working world. Can't belive that time can pass this fast in the working world too. I'm kind of very much enjoying myself here after some adjustments in the earlier weeks. Assigned with quite a number of projects to do. so we are pretty much involved in our project and our schedule was up to our own planning. Working in a hospital setting reali kindled a greater desire to work in the clinical field to serve God by helping these pple.
Been working in wards that are made up with a majority of elderly. it was some encounters with certain few elderly that had touched my heart in my course of work. One such encounter is with this granny who reminded me very much of my late grandma. I was in the midst of helpin the nurses to serve the patients dinner that her crying drew my attention. She was in an upright position and was crying out loud with her hands outstretch in pain. I walked towards her hopin that she would end her crying which was quite bothering to the neighbouring beds.
I took her hands and tried to comfort her but to no avail. She simply held my hands tightly and kept telling me that she kept sayin she can't take the pain in hokkein. It was then i looked into her eyes that i saw my grandma and somehow i thot i saw her telling me exactly what this old lady was telling me. It hurt me pretty badly as i did not spend alot of time with my grandma when she was on her deathbed. i even secretly wish that she would go soon due to all the trouble she was giving the whole family then. Felt quite remorseful of what i actually felt the.
unknowingly, i realized that i was tearing in the middle of serving a meal! and being a visiting hour, there were many relatives of other patients there. Furthermore, her shouting was making quite a scene in the ward. Yet the nurses seemed to be quite immune to such stuff i guess. I helpless yet at the same time reali want to do sth for her. but being not able to do anything at all, i just have to pry my hands away from hers and continue with my work.
After work that day, i left in heavy spirits emotionally drained. This is just one of the many encounters that i had come across. There's still others just that i wld never end if i continue. Shared this with my mum, and guess she's quite rite. I can't be a nurse. Its only coming to work here that i realized that i get traumatised easily by such situations. Felt that i have not learn how to condition my emotions in a way in which it is still sensitive to the needs of others but at the same time able to take distressing moments. Maybe God is using this period to prepare me for working a 3rd world country where circumstances are much worse then here. So may God contiues to guide now only but you guys out there ah. esp unix, be prayin that you learn how to be independent soon. bye.